Tuesday, 8 September 2009

How to kill yourself with apple seeds.

Apple seeds average around 0.6mg hydrogen cyanide (HCN) per gram of dry seed. Since the lethal dose of HCN is estimated to be around 50mg, you will need around 85 grams of dry seeds. This is around half a cup... it requires a lot of apples.

However:

1. Plants are variable; eat enough - at least 3 times the minimum dose; Cyanide is not a drug on which to skimp, since it can cause brain damage in sublethal doses.

2. The HCN must be liberated from the sugar it's chemically attached to. This occurs when the moistened seed is crushed, releasing an enzyme, emulsin, which does the job. You need to crush and eat the seeds fairly quickly, both to avoid evapouration of cyanide from the crushed seeds and so as not to lose consciousness before ingesting a lethal dose. A blender or a coffee grinder would be a good way to break up the seeds.

3. Effects are fastest if the stomach is empty and gastric acidity high. With minimally lethal doses, death may take up to an hour.

4. Some claim death by cyanide is painless and quick, others that it is painful and quick. Cyanide is commonly used by suicidal chemists but rarely by suicidal physicians.

227 comments:

1 – 200 of 227   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

I can't wait to try this when I get home! Your recipe for cyanide is just so simple and easy to follow. It sounds positively delicious. I'll write back to let ya'll know how things went!

Ciao!
Alain

Anonymous said...

Yeah, seems risky... Jumping from a high place seems better.

Anonymous said...

Maybe eating this delicious apple pie recipe THEN jump off the tall building. Just to be safe.

still alive said...

so... i tried this out:

first, it was really hard getting the seeds. i helped making litres and litres of applesauce. from these boxfuls of apples i got about a cup of appleseeds. it seemed like a whole lot after collecting them for a few full days.
i didn't have the option of a coffeegrinder or blender so i had to chew them well and fast. also i must mention that it isn't only losing consiousness that you should worry about. be warned that the taste is horrible. it's really hard to chew them all through while you are forced to vomit.
i luckily managed to hold back and i can comparatively say that drinking pure vodka is better than appleseeds (and i absolutely DESPISE ethanol).
although my gastric acidity was high i didnt get much of the desired effects (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyanide_poisoning). in fact i was beginning to be worried so i ran a lot to use more of my body oxigen and to carry crippling cyanide all over my body.
im a male in my early twenties and my body was stronger than a cup of appleseeds.

in conclusion i don't recommend this as a suicide method. it's fairly inefficient and hard to get. there are better ways to go.
good luck and i hope you'll die. ^-^

Anonymous said...

@ still alive Pure vodka is not better! I drunk 400ml immediately, when I fall asleep, I woke up after few hours and started to vomit, vomitted all the night and I'm still alive.It didn't work to me.I thought to try apple seeds...until I read your comment that this didn't work, too.Now I doubt to try or not to try.Maybe to choose another method...

Anonymous said...

Quotation from internet:"Plants in the Rosaceae (apples) family all have cyanogenic glycocides that metabolise into HCN, the hitler-jew poison. Eating 2 cupfuls of apple seed ( thoroughly blended and mashed up ) should be enough to poison you. Keep in mind though, Hydrogen Cyanide is the painful cyanide."
Why does everybody(it's not the only post on the net I found) say it's painful?I'd like to die painlessly...After I read about that it's painful my courage to try it decreased...And finally, I don't know, again.

still alive said...

@Anonymous i was talking about pure vodka because of the awful taste, not that there would be point to try overdrinking. :D

btw i remembered that i forgot to mention that i also donated blood in order to reduce the number of bloodcells that could carry around oxygen thereby making cellular suffocation more probable (the running was also for this reason).

ps: imho pain doesnt matter if you'll die in a few minutes anyway. suffer a little to never feel anything again - worth it.

Anonymous said...

may i plzzz noe ki its works or nt?????..................
after reading the comments i think that it doesn't..............
but plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........
i want to noe coz i want to die as eaerly as possible............
help me.............

Anonymous said...

I hope you all realize that no one's going to post a success story right? If they succeed, that means they're dead...

smile said...

For the record. 50 mgs is not an accurate dosage.

It's estimated that you need to consume about 1.5 mgs of cyanide per kg of body weight to have lethal effects.

I'm collecting apple seeds along with apricot pits, which are also supposed to contain HCN.

It might take a while, but I'm not really in a hurry.

I won't let you know if it worked. I will if it doesn't.

Anonymous said...

Totally worked I'm super dead right now

Anonymous said...

Your all fucked in the head...

Anonymous said...

i would love to try this but with my weight ill have to save up like five damn cups and if that doesnt work ill find a gun slit my rist and shoot myself if i have the courage.

Anonymous said...

I would rather superglue my mouth and nose closed and jump of a cliff head first while pulling the trigger to a .45 pointed at my head.....

Anonymous said...

How many cups of apple seeds does it take to poison the water supply of a reservoir?

Anonymous said...

can't wait to do this... hope this works lol and i dont think its possible it may be water soluble

Anonymous said...

How can one comment on the status of pain in conjunction with a cyanide death when they are, dead?

Anonymous said...

Do different apples have different levels of cyanide concentration?
For example, will seeds from a granny smith apple kill me faster than the seeds from a golden delicious apple?

Anonymous said...

@still alive..don't tell me abt vodka..it wud tempting me to drink vodka...i've been tryng2stp drinking...ur dry vodka tempted me.so get lost..:-@

Anonymous said...

apple seeds wont help. you can use chloroform indeed.Chloroform at high concentration is known to be as fatal as cyanide. You can buy a vicks inhaler and empty the contents and clean and dry it and fill it with the chloroform and start inhaling it. Thanks
Vignesh53@gmail.com

trey howard said...

dude it's those god damn n1ggrs

Anonymous said...

people do not try to commit suicide
read WWW.inspiremetoday.com
it'll help..
live for someone else
try doing SOMTHING GOOD for som1
this world doesnt need suicides
Chose the path that leads to lush
meadows..not the deserted path..,
save som1 else's life GOD will save yours
try it,please.

Anonymous said...

live for your family

Anonymous said...

maybe i will try it on someone else nice huh.......................................................................//////////////////////////////////////////

Anonymous said...

Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you,
and drugs cause cramps.

Guns aren't lawful,
nooses give,
gas smells awful...
you might as well live.
~Dorothy Parker

Anonymous said...

Don't ya just hate the peeps that feel obliged to tell you how life is worth living, that you'll be missed and that if you read the right book (rofl!) everything will be ok? When I'm ready to kill myself, i don't give a fuck if anybody is hurt by it! Should have made more effort to keep me happy when i was alive! cunts.

Anonymous said...

you better off overdosing on copper sulphate crystals I don't the right dosage.

Anonymous said...

just shoot yourself

Anonymous said...

ODD FUTURE WOLF GANG KILL THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! while eating apple seeds

Anonymous said...

What the fuck don't fucking kill yourselves, find a way to enjoy life

Anonymous said...

You're*

Anonymous said...

It's strange how perspective shifts over the years. I used to be like my friends commenting on this "OH MY GOD DONT KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE X!", but now I am the one who sees life in such a way. I do not attempt these things anymore, but I do not know if I will ever be able to think like a person who has never given up their will to live ever again

Anonymous said...

You guys should get kittens. They're really cute and they'll lay on your chest for hours just purring away. It's a nice feeling, having someone who loves you, and only cares about you.

Anonymous said...

I know it's a cliche, but you only live once (YOLO!!) and you're a long time dead

Anonymous said...

You guys are all shitheads.
Your life can't be too bad if you have internet access.
So ungrateful. If you really wanted to be dead you'd be dead right now and not sucking on apple seeds like chumps. Just get out.

Anonymous said...

did that person 'smile' die? would like to know if this works, assuming it did cause he never commented again. in an 100 pound person, how many appleseeds would this take? probably not too many..

Anonymous said...

A few years ago i was suicidal and tried ending it a series of times. thinking life couldn't be any worse a very close family member of mine died. I felt worse then before. I then realised no matter how bad you feel at this moment it will not compare to the feelings of your friends or family if you do commit suicide. if you feel like life is not worth living please get help

Anonymous said...

I'm coming up with about 300 seeds for a 250lb person. This sound about right?

Anonymous said...

I don't even know how to react to this. Everyone goes through tough times in their lives. Almost everyone gets depression at some point, even for a few days. Talk to someone, they'll understand. I'm not gonna tell you your life doesn't suck, because it might.

I can guarantee that everyone contemplating chewing apple seeds, trying to drink a bottle of vodka, supergluing your mouth shut, etc... is NOT serious about it. You want help, you just can't/don't want to get it so you're going to try something so ridiculous to get attention. People who are dead set on suicide usually do not survive. They don't drink a bottle of vodka, they drink a bottle of vodka after a bottle of sedatives. They wouldn't "superglue their mouth/nose shut" (btw, don't try this. It won't work. Your body's reaction to asphyxiation, which is torture, will be to rip your mouth open no matter how much it will bleed and hurt), they'd but a bullet through their temple. AND THEY WOULD NOT SPEND A MONTH GATHERING APPLE SEEDS TO TRY SOMETHING LIKE THIS. Like I said, people who are dead set (nothing changing their mind) on dying will find a way to do it IMMEDIATELY. If they decide their emotional problems are too painful to deal with, they will deal with physical pain to end it all; they wouldn't worry about the bitter taste and throwing up. If you're scared of vomiting, you're not ready to kill yourself. Seek help.

I'm a chemist and I can name 5 things you can get within 10 minutes that will kill you painlessly, and possibly even enjoyably, but I'm not going to. You need help. If you don't want to tell your parents (since you're probably less than 20), tell someone else's parents, they'll gladly help you. Hell, walk into a hospital and tell them you're suicidal, they'll definitely help you.

You don't need a blog to tell you how to die, you need a good friend/family member to help you live.

j said...

Omg, what are the 5 painless thingssss!?!?

Anonymous said...

Wow... I knew someone would ask but I didn't think it would be that quick.

If that's all you have to say in reply to everything I wrote I'm not going to bother to say anything to try to help you.

By state laws (I'm not saying which because I don't want to know your location and I don't want you to know mine), "A person commits manslaughter by intentionally aiding another to commit suicide." Therefore, me telling you how to kill yourself "peacefully" will make me guilty of manslaughter. [Legally] manslaughter is slightly less "severe" than murder, and I am not a murderer, nor am I a "manslaughter-er".

If you want to know that badly, stick through high school (it can be rough) and then major in chemistry.

Victor Epand said...

If you eat the apple seeds and apricot pits without grinding them in a blender, they are actually cancer fighting due to the positive use of cyanide. Watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q51waJJ5D9c

Anonymous said...

we need apples. we need saving. we need a government program.

Anonymous said...

Please god please tell me! I've seriously destroyed my life beyond repair i have no prospects, no friends, debt i will never escape! All that i need is just a quick painless death. Like going to sleep. Is that so much to ask..?

Jarvissa said...

Anon, I have heard from a few credible sources that Argon gas may provide a painless exit. You will effectively asphyxiate to death -in the absence of breathing air- however, because you are still breathing 'something' (the argon) there is no suffocating 'feeling', just a gentle loss of consciousness. Argon is used extensively in the welding industry - this makes for an easy acquisition (just google 'argon canister'). You will also need a medical mask/suitable tubing to administer the gas. I would suggest taping the mask to your face and then tying a plastic bag over your head also. A situation you want to avoid is one where you pass out and inadvertently detach the mask. Death is the aim here, not a short period of brain-oxygen-starvation and an ensuing life as a vegetable.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=176eog7mZjc
This is an interesting video with a pig as test subject for a Nitrogen-Argon mix. Whilst I would consider Nitrogen as a stand-in for Argon... stay away from carbon monoxide. There is a vast chasm of a difference between asphyxiation with an inert gas (Ar, N) and poisoning yourself with a toxic one (CO).

Think long and hard. Then think again.

Anonymous said...

So... Could I commit a murder with said method? Jk I wouldn't do that. I love people too much. But still, could I?

Gary Niger said...

I have Potassium Cyanide [KCN]. It's like the cheapest stuff in the world, so I'm giving it away for free since I have so much of it.

I ONLY ship to the USA, but if you're interested, shoot me an email.
dmcphail55@hush.com.

Anonymous said...

That might be construed as a terroristic threat...big brother is always watching...just some friendly advice pal! :)

Anonymous said...

Trying to find them...painless & peaceful...quiet...

Anonymous said...

Hi I was wondering if you can crush the seeds and then extract the juice and drink it instead of eating the seeds? I wouldn't like the seeds to be found during the autopsy, I'm trying to make it look like an accident

Anonymous said...

lol i just read thru what i wrote b4 and I meant MY OWN AUTOPSY! I just dont want my familly to know i did this to myself, not out of fear or some shitt like that but I know that my death alone will be very painful for them, I dont want to add the extra weight of knowing it was on purpose

deepak jamdade said...

any one can send me cynide fo
r suicide it will help me contact me on deepak.jamdd@gmail.com it's urg

Anonymous said...

Your life was saved through Jesus Christ. Whether you believe in God and His Love and Forgiveness through His Son Jesus Christ or your own self created worlds which now seem disastrous, it won't change God's Will. We are human and we sin and change and repent everyday!! What you have created for yourself is not selfish, but what reward were you seeking? To please others it seems, to get someone else to love you, to have power and control over people and things that you allow in your world, etc.... What is your life that you can throw it away? What greater cause have you tried while alive verses what greater cause will you be in death? I am not a witness to seeing Jesus walk on earth, but are you a witness to seeing anything before your birth? I do believe that if you as easily repent for your own sins and learn God's Word as you have learned skills and trades in school or from your environment how to survive or gain knowledge, you, too, in Christ can be at peace and help others that are weaker than yourselves... I believe in Jesus Christ and my love for Christ shows my love to all even to you that read this. I am not hiding or judging. Your life is God's but your will is yours. Try God's Will! May God be with you and me.
PS- I stumbled upon this post. 1833

Drakmordis said...

I'm in a pretty shit place, spinning myself up to do the deed and trying to find a decent way to go about it that doesn't leave a massive mess for someone else to mop up.

You Christians showing yourselves here and going on about how God will save us from ourselves... shame on you. Get the fuck off the internet and start reaching out to real people in real life, or get the fuck off your high horse.

The world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel. Personally, I'm done laughing and crying. I just want some quiet.

Anonymous said...

To be unsure about what life can be is hard and I know personally through being homeless, poor, and heartbroken but why chose death and have to then deal with how death will be? Did any of you create death to know that there will be peace? I'd rather (and this is only me and not putting my lifestyle on anyone else) my whole heart and complete faith in God and make good of my existence no matter how messed up or opprobrious the world is to me.

Anonymous said...

Go f**ck yourselves you Christians pieces of sh*it. Does this look like a "hug me, help me, I need attention or I'll kill myself" kinda place to you? No body is f***ckin looking for empty words from random strangers, if we were, we would be on a different website so shut the f**ck up, go f**ck yourselves with a crucifix and leave us be. Most of us are serious about this and you're just wasting our chances of getting a real answer for our questions

Anonymous said...

yes hes right we didnt come on here to be saved we are trying to find away to die i beleive in god as well that dosent do me any good i stil want to die and no amount of preaching will make me change my mind so stop trying to save us we dont want to be saved

alex hammer said...

look people im 29 years old living in greece and i want somefing strong and fast...i dont want to risk to fall in coma or somefing like that because others will fell the pain not me.....i don`t care if is paintfull or not gest to be very quik...acctualy what i`ve searching one life time i`ve losted now ...i dont have no reason to live i`m gest tired of everythink i got problems from childness so not even god can help me...if he exist...this is gest a story about him nothing else.....don`t bealive they who say take the church way...is bullshit...if the god was real he help us...maybe not me but all the children in the world who don`t have nothink rong and they suffer of hungry wars and others.....any way i dont have the guts tu put a bullet in my brain...acctualy i can`t have a gun but i can`t live anymore like this....all my life waiting somefing and when i found it i`ve lost it...maybe because of my judjement maybe because of my advice i never haved from my parents who ever they are....i am a dead man walking and i wish to put the end of this....this will help someone to suffer so don`t see it like a suicide think....gest help me...my email is AbissKing@secureroot.com thanks a lot for anywone who want to help....i gest want straight unswers and straight to the subiect not storyes whit apels and the 7 nanos

Anonymous said...

from what I've read, a syringe with air should be quick enough and very accurate, as long as you inject the vein properly it'll definitely reach the heart and make it stop.
My problem with this is that since it's so fast I might not have time to remove the needle and try to cover the mark before I die, since I want my family to think I had a heart attack or something like that... Any ideas anyone?

Anonymous said...

If God really could help anyone then nobody would be talking about killing themselves in the first place.

Anonymous said...

It will take three seeds per gram of body weight. So 100 grams of body weight equals 300 seeds. So do the math. Best way to do it is put the seeds in a coffee grinder, mix with warm water and drink it as fast as you can. Its how my brother killed himself last year.

Anonymous said...

Hi does anyone know of any other poisons that I could make that has a high success rate? I've been searching around but haven't really found anything, please help me.

Anonymous said...

You can run from the cops, after they blow your tires out, jump out waving a water pistol or better yet a BOX CUTTER!
This is called POLICE suicide.
Very effective and you get your 15 minutes of fame.
Can't get any better than that!

Anonymous said...

Yeah Cuz its everyones else's responsibility to make sure ur happy

Anonymous said...

Abhay Caran fanatics should eat (and be given to eat) blended apple seeds in large quantities, immediately after blending. They just haunted me this afternoon with extreme demoniacy, in the middle of a Sri Visnu arotik that is extremely religious and extremely positive and extremely important and extremely good, and which they war criminally and demoniacally haunted and interupted!

They call themselves Hare Krishnas those moronic abominables, but they do not deserve the name. They are fake, evil, demoniac and haunted IRRELIGIOUS ABOMINABLES who should be zealously avoided and EYES POKED OUT and KICKED IN THE CHEST. It is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that those moronic, ugly and repulsive ABOMINABLES NOT be allowed even within 1 billion miles of me.

I am a human being and I have a human right to privacy and those ABOMINABLE abhay caran fanatic despicables DO NOT have a right to violate it!

Just like the Los Angeles airport keeps abhay caran fanatics and muslims out BY LAW, similarly those irreligious demoniacs should be ARRESTED and not allowed to come even within a billion miles of me.

Anonymous said...

Actually with overpopulation we need them more than ever. 1/3 of the worlds population needs to die off by 2025 or so. Look it up scientists even are saying its true.

Anonymous said...

I like to watch kittens as their heads are being detached from their bodies the sound they make is simply orgasmic!

Anonymous said...

At first I was concerned about the people posting, but fortunately most of the people here were either too dimwitted to follow simple instructions and multiplication to kill yourself (afterall, most people fail at suicide ), or just have a morbid sense of humor, or possibly attention whores...

Anonymous said...

My parents will need an open casket to move on....otherwise my brains would be on the wall. My life. My choice when to end it.

Anonymous said...

I dont mind if you kill yourself if thats what ya wanna do i dont mind i walk out my front door every morning with dead people every where i walk in the store some bitch is fucken herself with a shot gun boom overys every where. try to walk my dog and sum fuck is danglen from a tree with another guy sawin his own head off in the same tree. so do it to it guys please use a knife or a hammer as well add a lil character to it

Anonymous said...

Really, people, why the thoughts? No problem will ever vanish. They'll just b added 2 ur afterlife. Don't u noe u'll b going 2 Hell; where Satan will b waiting 4 u. BTW, u'll b doing ur act of death 4 all eternity. U'll b repeating the process over & again. U like that scenery? I don't. I tough it out. Why not put 2 practice the saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

Anonymous said...

Also, Y not read a book on that subject? Oh,Yes, [La Divina Comedia] by Dante Aligheiri. Sorry, that's The Divine Comedy in English, for those of u who don't noe Italian. BTW, Life is just that a divine comedy and u the actor or actress. How u play the role that is given 2 u really depends on 1 person: Y-O-U.

a widow's son said...

I have had the misfortune to have been an heroin addict for 15 yrs. Now in recovery.
During thyis time, I overdosed more times than most Liberians have had a hot meal (no racism intented).
It was painless, even pleasant.
Sometimes I was gutted to return to consciousness even.
Why not just give the executee 20ml of diazepam about an hour before the execution. Followed by mixture of midazolam & a massive dose of a very powerful opioid (heroin?).
Problem solved!
Dead offender.
No suffering or pain.
Surely the knowledge that they will never see another sunrise, plus the fear we ALL have (admit it or not) about what's next (i.e. after the death of the body, is enough suffering to impose upon an individual without compounding their terror with unbearable physical pain?

Anonymous said...

3 months after ingesting 70 grams of apple seeds I had a stroke.

Anonymous said...

I think I finally know what to do. It's pretty simple but it did take me a while to think of it...
I want to make it look as an accident b/c I don't want my family to be haunted by the fact that I killed myself, so I'm gonna OD with heroin.
I leave alone so the chances for somenone finding me and taking me to the hospital are very dim, and when they finally do, they'll blame the drugs and that might actually serve as a lesson to the rest of my family to not try drugs b/c "I couldn't controll them myself" :)

Anonymous said...

220 kazati You're an idiot...... a heroin OD is going to go over better with your family??????
Go on, clock out of this world soon..... before you have children & further screw up the gene pool.

Anonymous said...

Everyone here needs to talk to their families for support. A life is something of too much value to take away. Whoever is actually serious about suicide needs to think twice before hurting themselves, God, and everyone they love from one decision based purely on impulse. Please rethink your actions.

Anonymous said...

So if i way 140lb and thats 63502g , i need 190506 apple seeds ??!!

Anonymous said...

Instead of slitting your wrists in a warm bath , go buy some syringes. nigger rig it so the blood flows out of the needles into the tub. Also take. Few pills to make your bloodflow nice and strong

Anonymous said...

I had a physical fight with my parents today,my teachers always tell me I'm too retarded for anything, and I really wanna end this shit. Unless i find a way to become a shaolin, I'll use something painless, doesn't have to be quick. Any ideas?

Anonymous said...

I just found out I have Alzheimer I helped my mother through don't want to go through it myself or put my children through it when I really get bad I will kill myself instead of going through with having my family take care of me. What my mother went through I won't do!!!

Anonymous said...

try drinking two much water a 28-year-old California woman died After downing some six liters of water in three hours this is called water intoxication haven't try that out yet.

Anonymous said...

The fellow with Alzheimers, and other people, might try drinking 20-30 cups of coffee per day. Coffee actually has the power to prevent and cure mental and nervous system illnesses including Alzheimers.

The important thing about coffee for health food use is that it should be made without sugar, and freshly ground, and paper filtered. The reasons are:

1) Sugar is not healthy and ruins the benefit of coffee.
2) Instant coffee has lost qualities due to processing. Freshly ground is best.
3) Paper filtered coffee removes oils that are unhealthy for the heart. Coffee oils do not pass through a paper filter, so the paper filtered coffee is healthier than the other types of filters.

Sheri said...

All I can say, is that your all fucked in the head!
Get a life.

Vintage Furniture said...

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Anonymous said...

I know a painless way to committ suicide. Jump off a skyscraper, it'll be scary as fuck but you wouldn't feel anything :) I need a good method to kill myself because there aren't any tall buildings where I live in the countryside so I considered hanging but that can take up to 20 mins... apple seeds are bullshit, just find a drug to OD on not weed lol or try carbon monoxide, or pretty much any other gas but oxygen poisoning or down a shitload of bleach. None of these are good methods though. I need something that will take 10 seconds max and little if no pain at all. Anything?

Anonymous said...

You all already have the devil in you. Why not just ask him to take you.

Anonymous said...

This comments section has to be a wind up right?? I mean who is depressed enough to consider suicide and yet have time to share ways to do it....WTF.... weirdoes

Anonymous said...

I am interested on what the 5 things are has well only on here to find quick and easy way of ending life high anxeity pills a ho bottle did it for me last time tell someone found me so been checking on where to get cyanide pils

Anonymous said...

What is the point to this life if we are all going to die anyway...why not just end it now, instead of putting yourself though the pain of living.

And it is you're not your

Anonymous said...

i have cynaide if any one want contact mee ronykumar91@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Don't be disturbed or anxious over anything, Talk about your disturbing thoughts and needs. The peace of Jehovah will guard your heart and your mental powers through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6,7

Invisistill said...

Hahaha! That's awesome! Reading these comments I can understand why these people would kill themselves, life must be hard when you're that stupid. First, you can buy massive bags of apple seeds online, second you can buy the specific enzyme itself in pill form called B17, however this is also claimed to be a natural cure for cancer, so if that's why you want out, you just might wake up cured lol third, like he said, if you really wanted to kill yourselves, you'd be dead.
Grow up or grow some balls, I bet half the ppl on here are teenagers who run to their room screaming"You'll all be sorry when I'm dead!" and then slam the door lol

Invisistill said...

I was thinking the same thing... look at the first story, the guy did everything to make sure it would work, except the one thing that would make it work... what kind of moron buys crates of apples, spends a week making apple sauce to get the seeds, gives blood, runs around the block, but doesn't get a $20 grinder to make sure the seeds are the most potent, sounds like a pussy who wants attention, gain some perspective you dumb asses, you're not a 5 y/o girl living in third world Africa starving and being raped every day. If your life sucks, it's on you, no one is coming to your pity party, only selfish assholes kill themselves.

Invisistill said...

If you care that much about your family why would you do that to them at all? You sound like a selfish asshat, they deserve to know the truth, they're the ones left to deal with the pain and pick up the pieces after you pussy out, if you make it look like an accident you run the risk of them blaming themselves, if they know you killed yourself, they can get the help you're to selfish to get and realize you were just an asshole.





Anonymous said...

So reading these comments, there seems to be only two choices: commit suicide or commit oneself to a barbaric iron age god named Yahweh/Jehovah whose unconditional love is akin to the sort of unconditional love you get in prison. Just ask the Canaanites.

On topic -- If you're younger than 30, don't do it. Please give life a serious chance. You can punch out anytime you want and you can't undo that decision once you've made it. You haven't yet seen all your life could offer you. You might be surprised if you find a way use the courage you're summoning for this endeavor in the rest of your life. That goes to all of you.

Provided you're not committing grotesque pain upon children or other dependents in your life with this act, I sincerely wish you the best. May you find the healing you need to move on, or the painless peace you need to truly rest.

Anonymous said...

Ki

Anonymous said...

Potassium chloride will do it. You can buy it in the spice section at the grocery store as a salt substitute, No Salt. Tastes like shit and it will rip you to pieces inside before it kills you. It seizes your muscles, including your heart, effectively giving you a heart attack. It's used in lethal injection.

Anonymous said...

Want a painless death? Then your life isn't actually bad enough to commit suicide. Go see a therapist, read a book, talk to someone, do some sensual exploration, and, basically, gain some experience at this thing we call existence.

Want a death that will look like an accident? Drink a whole lot of alcohol (maybe with a 'normal' dose of pain meds) and hang out in a hot tub where you won't be found. You will pass out and drown. It probably won't be painless. You'll look like a complete and total idiot, but not like a suicidal idiot.

I'd recommend 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra', but I don't think most of you are ready for it yet. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Shut up about the anti suicide crap. We all die. We should have the dignity how to die and when. I know I will die when I see fit

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sending me in the direction I need to go. Finally I'll be at peace =]

Anonymous said...

You all need Counselling. There is always a way forward but it doesn't have to be the end.

Suicide is the easy way out!!!

Enjoy life and have fun.
See the world
start a family or adopt
do some charity work.
start a hobby

Live life its not long enough as it is!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow!

Anonymous said...

I read most of the comments as i have been zestfully searching for a quick and not necessarily painless way to pass. All i can tell you is that neighter over the counter nor Rx drugs will kill you as they would seriously damage your organs and as a result would make it even more difficult for you to commit suicide again. Why? You will have lost one of your primary senses and incur brain damage from an overdose. I almost did. From Aspirin.

I looked at different methods, from vodka plus ammonia to produce hcn to castor beans for the ricin recipe. All that really does require a lot more skill and proper measurement techniques to produce the right amount and potency!!!!! DONT DO THIS UNLESS YOU ARE COMPLETELY SURE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO PREP THIS POISON!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Look into Belladonna and also the recipes for homemade poisons you might find in books, not internet - they are shutting down those sites. I want to die more than anything. I know there is a potato based homemade poison. I wish i could talk to someone who wants to die also. I have chronic pain. Maybe together we can figure something out. My physical pain kills me. Please, anyone, write to me. Im barely hanging on. I dont even care about giving out my email - narina17@yahoo.com. Please write. I cannot bear this. MRI. MY SPINE. FORMER ATHLETE. 35 now n feel alive only in my dreams when i fall asleep. please, at least write to me on here. maybe it will be easier to search for that method together. to know that i want to die just like you do. please, god cannot hear me. i hope someone here will. all of the pro-choice suicide chats are shut down...
im alone. in agony. i hope to a few words. not of inspiration. of someone wanting to die as much as i do.

Anonymous said...

As for Invisistil or whatever the nickname is - do not dare to presume, assume or judge without hardly even knowing who these people are and what their circumstances might be. And so be it!!!!! I speak on behalf of every suicidal person on this site including myself - suicide is not a fad and is a difficult thing to do. After all, you are parting with all you love forever. That means things are Tough. AND DONT DARE TO PRESUME ABOUT TEENAGE BEHAVIOR. People share their pain and despair while you belittle them for feeling bad. Im 35, chronic pain, sports injury, ptsd, bipolar. came to this country at 14. Earned my MBA by age 26. Thats about 10% of shit as im ondisability now. Dont judge me or anyone else here. YOU ARE NO GOD AND OBVIOUSLY DONT KNOW WHAT TRUE HOPELESSNESS IS.

Anonymous said...

Oh so sorry to misspell your nickname in my comment as I did not bother to commit it to memory. Your remarks are dreadful and disrespectful. If anything these people say bothers you - don't read it Or even better - do not come back to this site. Spend your precious time on other activities INSTEAD OF INSULTING PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING THRU SOMETHING YOU NEVER FELT BEFORE!!!

Narina

Anonymous said...

So far your comments have not only been exemplary of poor manners and absolute lack of empathy. They also serve as the ultimate exhibit of human apathy and STUPIDITY when it comes to those who find life unbearable. You should leave this site and laugh at somebody else. Im sure it is because of people like you, that psychiatric wards neglect kills patients. They think of us as unnecessary to be disposed of.

narina

Anonymous said...

Agree. life is nothing but a cosmic fuck.

narina

Anonymous said...

:( to everybody who has said to not kill myself- it is my life and i will do what i want with it, also i dont care about who will be sad if i am dead, why must i be the one who cares and always ther do comfort others. you have no idea of the pain inside of me i have clinical depression which has no cure and i am allergic to the medications, i am sick and tired of trying new drugs when nothing works. i am sick of the pain all day everyday- i cry when i wake up because i am still alive and in pain. i will never be able to live happy and smile because you cannot take away my memories for if you did you would be taking away my past.i am not a person without a past, i would be constantly asking myself where did i come from. my past is awfull like you cannot imagine. once you see the truth you cannot ignore it, i hang onto life like a zombie just living to make others happy it is to me like drowning. how much am i expected to put up with for others when i will always be in my own pain that nobody can see, share or sympathize with. dont you ever dare to me life is wroth living when u have never walked in my shoes. so go fk yourself - if you have a problem with that :D kill me

Anonymous said...

To the people who said "don't tell me this and that cause you never walked in my shoes": Yes, you're right. I don't know what you have been/are going through. I'm sorry your life isn't perfect, but the reality is we ALL have daily struggles. Everyone wakes up dreading getting out of bed to work for money come home and repeat it all till we die. It's a depressing thought. I have family members who survived the Holocaust. Think about that for a moment. They were ripped from their homes, watched everything they worked their entire lives for burn to the ground, taken to a camp, worked until they could barely stand. If they fell "on the job", they were either shot and killed on the spot. My great, great, aunt watched them take her mother, father, and grandparents to the gas chambers because they were too old to work. She watched them shoot her daughter because she threw up the moldy bread (the size of a crouton) they ate for dinner. She watched a man kill his father over a piece of bread. She was forced to push her daughters body into the crematory and watch her body burn. In her mind, this was what she was going to to every day until she was the one that fell, or got sick, or was sent to the gas chambers just because the commandant had a bad morning. She had NOTHING to look forward to. Only death. She survived that. She sought asylum in America after liberation and started a family. She got her life back.

To me, what her, and millions of other went through (not only during the Holocaust, but other acts of genocide is far worse than what you could be going through. You can seek help. You can somehow change what you're going through, you just need will power. Those people couldn't ask for help. The world didn't care about them. You may FEEL like no one cares about you, but people do. You just need to try to help your self. Think of how selfish you are acting when you compare your situation to someone who survived the Holocaust, the genocide in Africa (where it is common to cut off brests, throw boiling oil women who won't have sex, and then rape them anyway, etc...) If they can get through each day and survive, you can too.

If you think your situation is worse than that, please, tell me. It's anonymous on here so no one will know. Tell me the gory details of how your life is worse than being forced to burn your own family members and not knowing when it will be your turn next in the gas chamber or crematory.

Anonymous said...

the seeds of apple really gonna kill a human?? anybody died till now after consuming it?? or tried n still alive?? i need to know!!

Anonymous said...

i dont have a problem with anything you said or want to do. i sympathize with you not because u want to kill yourself but because i want to kill myself too. i have pain in my heart, past n present n pain in my back - chronic. im 35 and the sports injury is now killing my back. i dream of death as i see it as the only way out. i cannot live on hydrocodone with clinical depression n bipolar. i wake up to nothing but pain. day n nite. i dream of death. i live in the states. came here at the age of 13 from russia. father - alcoholic. his family hates me. mothers side of family is still back over there. im alone. my mother cant help. im on disability. feel like a cripple. if you want write to at narina17@yahoo.com. maybe we can find a method to get out of this shithole. two brains work better. there is nothing wrong with dying together. I DREAM OF DEATH. respond. i want to go just as much as you. i write this n tears dont stop. im just afraid my car wreck will not kill me. it might turn me into an invalid n then i will not be able to kill myself. respond. it may not be as scary to know that someone who wants to die is dying with you. my name is narina. i live in kansas city missouri,US.i was once a fuckin athlete n now im nothing. a masters degree on disability. im a real person. and my pain is REAL. AND TO ALL OF YOU GODBEGGERS DONT FORGET THE FREE WILL n get the f--- off the site!!!! my death - my free will!!!

Anonymous said...

To you and no disrespect to what you said about the concentration camps..... Who of all would not know if not me? Im half russian, half armenian who immigrated here at 14. I grew up on such documentaries and movies. My nation fought this war. I myself went the "unofficial" Armenian genocide of 1989 n post. And i know what i saw and how we escaped. THE HOLOCAUST is inside of me now. That one and much more pain now. So dont generalize. And dont encourage. I saw a lot in my day and life isnt worth a broken dime or whatever. My life is over. Who cares about mytalents, dashed hopes and now physical pain. I have held my American Dream by the horns ONCE and now im on disability. Dont assume or presume. Ever. These people dont need your kind words. Say a prayer for their afterlife because THIS LIFE HAS FAILED THEM AND MYSELF!! ! !!!!!!!!!!!!

Narina

Anonymous said...

I FEEL SO MUCH DESPAIR N ANGER i can hardly even write properly anymore. Jesus!!!!!!

Narina

Anonymous said...

I fucken hate life the doctors said all the tests came back negative . Bullshit why to I feel this way then and then they tell me the HIV isn't in my area or town! I want to kill that bitch

Anonymous said...

Have you killed yourself yet ?

I'm kinda hoping it is slow and painful. Fucking moron...

Anonymous said...

I won't tell any of you to not kill yourselves and if you find god good for you. But life can change most of the time. Of you have chronic pain then you are just out of luck my grandpa has chronic back pain and the meds have ruined his short term memory but what ever. He has been on them for ever. Any way back on track I believe that to love one must first love themself and to want to live all you need to be is stubborn. I have considered killing myself. Especially in the last year or two. But then I changed. I was asked by my grandma to move to the middle of nowhere and take care on my great grandma. Now think a simi-suisilde teen going to live with her 92 year old drama obsessed great grandma who also has dementia and can't remember shit. I am a half a country from my home and family and up until two weeks ago I had to resist the urge to rather drive off a cliff or go in to the other lane and run in to a semi. I don't really know what changed but I have never been happier. But in going to halp a family member I found a small town in the middle of an amazing forest that has made me want to live and even find what I want to do with my life. So I would ask a favour of all who read this (and I mean everyone even those who want to try to tell people that they should not kill them selfs) go for a walk and look really look at the world around you the flowers, birds, trees and the life but not the people. Take it in and if nothing else you might have one last good memory before the end. One more thing if you do go on the walk just think about what you see not your problems just the world and all the miracles out there.

Kat

Anonymous said...

Oh and of all the toxins why fucking apple seeds really how stupid could you be. If u where that desperate u would actually put real thought in to your own death. How the hell do you come up with apple seeds and not the i don't know thousands of other extremely deadly plants out there. Really I know I just posted about not killing yourself kind of but seriously!!!!! And just so you know and plant you may use to kill yourself will most likely be painful so don't expect something painless. Idiots anyone stupid enough to try apple seeds has just should give up trying to kill them selfs and just wait for time to kill them after all we all die eventually. It is a fact of life. Assholes.

Kat

7 said...

http://www.peacefulpillhandbook.com/

Anonymous said...

...Why don't you guys try the oleander plant? It's a popular suicide method.

Anonymous said...

Your brother killed himself after consuming apple seeds???

Anonymous said...

You realise that if it worked, we wouldn't know anyway cos the person would be dead.

Anonymous said...

So kill yourself then. Quit crying about it!!!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like daddy loved you a little bit to much. I hate cats, but I'm not Gonna "bust a nut" when I hear a cats head getting snatched off. Fuckin wierdo!!!

Anonymous said...

No asshole!!! Try 500 seeds

Anonymous said...

Boo...fuckin.....hoo!!! anyone and everyone has been depressed in their adult life at one time or another. There are two types of people. Those that deal with everyday stress, and keep it moving. Then there are people that can't handle a fuckin mood swing, thus wanting to die, because they had a fucked childhood or some lame ass excuse to justify killing themselves. Shit doesn't happen, life happens. All you weak minded people on this blog, need to grow a pair and deal with it. Apple seeds????? Really????? I got a .357 magnum. Shit..... I do it for ya, if the price is right!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Pussy

Anonymous said...

Gunshot to the head. Way quicker than 10 seconds.

Marcy Arianna said...

Anyone who's trying to control a suicidal person's outcome on ending their life by saying that the person suffering is weak, ungrateful or selfish, is only saying it because they selfishly want the suicidal person to stay alive, regardless of what pain they are fighting to cope with. Their fears aren't about helping the suicidal person at all. Yes, it's it's very scary when you are witnessing someone want to off themself, especially if they are close to you. However, making dogmatic, harsh, and subjective judgements to someone who feels bad enough to want to end their life, will only compound their pain. No one can compare two people's reactions to life circumstances, or who's "worse off", because every individual has unique perspectives to a degree, but if you're scared of someone dying, at least try to show them you actually care, instead of responding with hurtful words. If someone was on fire and you wanted to save them, would you try to put the flames out with gasoline, or water?

Anonymous said...

I tried suicide through paracetamol and it was a lot easier. Once you get past the extreme back pain -from the kidneys - and the vomiting a liquid much like blood it isn't actually so bad. Sadly I had ran away from home and 23 hours after taking 3 times the lethal dose I was found by a police man who noticed the blood and well long story short after a solid 2 weeks in hospital - I only remember the 4 days at the end - and a hell of a lot of drugs I am still alive but they say it was pretty much a miracle. I'm 17yrs old and weigh 12 stone. Good luck to anyone who does decide to do it. It takes a HELL of a lot of balls! You can't easily slit your wrists btw, I have some pretty bad scars but I just couldn't get to the artery and that was my 3rd attempt with a VERY large knife :/

Anonymous said...

the comments about how people don't care if they hurt other people with their suicide and how those people "should have kept them happy to begin with" is a really immature attitude :) It's not up to other people to make you happy and if you feel like the people in your life are bringing you down then it's probably time to make some friends with some happier personalities and to stop lurking around on blogs like this.

Some Alan Watts might be nice, he really makes you smile.

Anonymous said...

Try H2S it's really quick 1 breath,your dead.Just found out about it.If it works I'll never post again.

Anonymous said...

http://shortstoriespoemsandmuchmore.blogspot.in/2013/08/a-night-of-solace.html Reading this may help you

Anonymous said...

Touchè

arturo beanly said...

I know that I can probably never understand the pain that you all are feeling. But I want you to know that I love you and I'm here for you...and that God loves you and He loves you more than you can imagine. You're not alone. I dont even know you, but I care for you. I hate that people have to go through life just to get to the point where they think there's nothing left...nothing worth living for. My sister tried to kill herself a few times unsuccessfully. Its hard on the family. It was hard on me. But I dont blame her. And nobody should blame you. Please, if you are considering suicide, I offer you the chance to talk to somebody first...email me at jb3rry101@gmail.com

I'm here to listen.

Anonymous said...

How did people who want to live come to be on this site buggin others? Really hey happy people answer me that?

Anonymous said...

http://chem.answers.com/environment/the-chemicals-in-apple-seeds

Anonymous said...

What the fuck is wrong with you people and we wonder why life is so fucked up it you depressing ass people talking about killing your self and others telling them how to you all need to be put in an insane asylum for thinking that way and for you others telling them how you need to be locked away in prison you know its not a fucking joke what if one of the people leaving one of these comments actually died or someone you cared for think about that

Anonymous said...

I can understand the physically sick n people in physical pain that r terminally sick. That's where I believe they should of let Dr. Kevorkian do his job wen the end was close or they were in 2 much physical pain. (Maybe someday soon there will be another Dr. Kevorkian) But if life is that bad where u feel u want 2 commit suicide, I have a better alternative (at least I think so). Just leave n go somewhere where no one knows u, even if u have 2 write a "pretend" suicide letter and there it is, a painless suicide w/o actually doing it. Go 2 another country or a place u have always dreamed of going. Wether u have money or not u can find a way 2 get there (if ur willing 2 commit suicide, I'm sure u can find a way 2 go anywhere in the world). Then @ some point in your life if u ever want 2 come back if u have family n friends u will always have that option. And if u never want 2 come back then don't, but it's got 2 b better then suffering a painful suicide. U'll never no what u will find somewhere else in the world. It may be way better then what ur going thru now. Just simply "disappear". I have family n friends, but it's just not doing it for me, so this is something I am seriously considering even tho my life may not b half as bad as some, I have my own issues just like everyone else. Just no 4 those of u who are not terminally ill, there is always an alternative 2 suicide. Good luck 2 all of u who are in that much pain.
PS: I am probably one of the most NON-RELIGIOUS person I no.

Anonymous said...

Why not just smoke a bunch of pot. They keep telling us how dangerous it is. Oh ya I forgot. "They", don't know what they're talking about.

Anonymous said...

I don't think killing my self is worth it cuz I have found my self being addicted to my sadness I love being fucked up in the head to the point were I cant even have sex anymore cuz it feels so fucked up, I cant love any body, I shut down when I see people loving one another I leave the room when a couple start talking sweet or kissing cuz I just can't take it, I tried to work it out but it just kept getting worse to now I don't even know what next week will bring for me as far as emotions go, let alone what I have already gone through, I just wish I could forget what has happened in my life.

Anonymous said...

starting to collect apple seeds .... it will take a few weeks !!!
will let you know if i survive :)
its worth a try and if it works then see you guys in hell _/\_

Anonymous said...

I'm very sorry to hear about you dying so intentionally and stuff. so, there is access to the internet on the other side. I freakin knew it!!!!!

Not a quitter said...

You guys are all pussies.

Anonymous said...

If you want to be religous god gave us apples as the forbidden fruit, the fruit that gave us free will, the fruit that we are using to end our free will, its all quite ironic poetic and possibly religous. Eve started it with the first bite of apple, we're ending it with our last bites of apple.

Jispar said...

If you want to die, do something useful before that. Find out what the Bible says about going to heaven after death, and tell me in detail.

Anonymous said...

Won't say life's easy or your issues aren't important ... And I agree that if you truly want to die. Its your choice. So everyone saying find god and live for this and that can fuck off. But I also think its worth thinking it over quite a bit before you decide on something so finale. And another thing. If you really want to die why r u on the internet ? Go chug gas, tie a rope to Ur ankle ties to a cinder block and jump in a river, a sharp blade into the left side of your abdomen and swish it all around. Your throat. Real easy way there. Get real mad. Start screaming n slice away. Won't even feel the cut. Finding ways to off your self online seems more like u want help then you want to die... 1/8th of inch and I wouldn't be here either and I sure as hell didn't go online looking for pointers.... Anyone whose lost n thinking of these terrible things. U don't need to go find god. Or live for anyone but Ur self. But at least go talk to someone. Anyone and u might realize that this isn't for u .... I hope you all find peace in whatever you decide.. But Ur not gonna wake up once its done. Just empty blackness of endless time where nothing is and nothing can be...

Anonymous said...

Life is worth living ... For most of you... Some people , I'm sure there only escape is death & I'm sorry for that. But listen I have been through alot in my life made aloy of mistakes & hurt myself a lot of times. I won't say I attempted to kill myself. Cause if your not dead your not really trying and I've never been revived from a attempt, or rather a purposeful attempt. Accidental is another case... Drugs took hold for a long time. I destroyed all my friendships and my family. Lied cheated stole hurt whatever I had to. Been homeless on the streets .. Lost people who meant the world to me , hurt people I've never wanted to hurt. Done things I still try rationalizing as not that bad... And I can say nothing changes if nothing changes... And no matter what I or anyone say. You need to find this answer on your own ... I am very thankful I'm still here even tho things are very hard still. I'm alive and happier than I honestly thought I could be... I've found more friends n family dead then I want to remember... And I've been to the darkest pits of my mind and came back .. Its not easy and far from over. But now I enjoy the life I have. The best thing I ever did was find someone to believe in. Someone. I could reveal my true self to and not worry about being judged. And its not god or Jesus or anythinf like that. Its love ... And if its out there for me. Its out there for you. It might not seem like it But someone will make you feel life is worth living. No matter how hard it is to be able to know your truly loved and cared for by more than just a relative ...that can bring you out of the darkness. No matter how much you believe your worthless or.unlovable someone will be there it jus takes.times. and it don't necessarily mean. Its a person. I could of never came back from the dark place I once resided in. But to think back now and to make a different choice. I couldn't imagine being as content as I am today. I never thought then. This was a possibility for me. But I got myself out of it. And found someone to believe in and someone to believe in me ... And im so grateful I never went through with some.of the things I.thought of. I'm. Sure a lot of you have it really bad and it is hopeless. But I was just as hopeless and I'm here today... So this all could mean nothing. But if jus one of you takes something positive from this. Then maybe you can find a way out of the darkness too... And to those who can't. I hope you at least truly think about your choice and how it will affect the ones in your life... And I hope whatever you decide. You find peace ....

anonymous said...

To the one who asked about other effective poisons out there... the directions to make ricin are easily found online...it'll definately do the trick

Anonymous said...

ARE YOU Sure?
Try this and then this if it doesn't work.
Have someone drop you off in the middle of a forest or desert.
Set down and wait till you die of starvation and cold. Hummm changed your mind yet? Maybe by the time you decide that you want to live and walk out you will have changed your mind.
OK one more and then I'll tell you how.
Go on a vacation to a third world country. Give away everything you have to the poorest person you can find. Stay with them for 1 week.
If you still want to ck out here I how.
Ever watch MMA? Choke hold? They are out in less than 10 seconds with no pain. Tap if you hurt, naw they never do.
Most kids playing the hanging game will die without ever knowing. NOT hanging like in the old westerns. That shit breaks your neck.
I worked as a deputy sheriff. Arrested a man that was on the outs with his wife and two twin girls of ages 16. He had a restraining order on him and had violated it. She had a pistol on him when we arrived. He was calm and benevolent. He never resisted.
Later that evening he set in the jail cell against the bars. Removed his shirt, wrapped it around the bars while setting down. Then just leaned forward.
He passed out and died very quickly.
Beware! you can lift your arms up just before you pass out if you change your mind.
Try the first two first, or like the one lady said, go take care of someone that will need you, like a Alzheimer's patient or volunteer at a care home for a month before you ck out.
I've been suicidal for nearly 50 years.
Life is a journey, enjoy it the best you can. Experience it for all its worth.
drurrys@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

The people who talking about God will help and save us, exactly what is the point in trying to help people like me who want to commit suicide when everyone will die anyways so what's the difference in dying a little earlier then your suppose to :|

Anonymous said...

I have 95% pure potassium cyanide only Indian my contact no
rajsharma14721@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

use a mortar and pestle to grind the seeds, and make sure its in a solution, that way the hydrogen cyanide is dissolved in the water, strain the water through filter paper, evaporate, youre left with a hydrated hydrogen cyanide salt, this should work if your environment is under 26 celsius

Anonymous said...

my curiousity keeps me alive.
its not that i don't want to give up on life, and the world is a seriously messed up one. but as long as i have some fun once in a while and i can discover interesting things, i keep on going. nice idee though apple seeds cyanide. gotta question, can you just grind em to a pulp, heat the pulp and inhale it would be a lot more easy.

Anonymous said...

Just tired..been through to much..can't take one more bad thing...no one to care for and no one who cares

Anonymous said...

you people are fucking pathetic. if you commit suicide then you're a god damn coward. why does it matter if "nobody else cares"? start caring about yourself. learn to be selfish, greedy. become atrue existentialist and show the world you can thrive on your own, at the expense of those that dont give a shit about you anyway. dont be a pussy and take the easy way out.

Anonymous said...

You lack the courage to face life. Suicide is the result of your cowardliness. If you were to develop courage, you could open your heart, increase in strength, and face life boldly. Try the "Developing Courage and Fearlessness" meditation given by OrinDaBen here. This may give you the courage to face life and live happily.

Developing Courage and Fearlessness SI109
http://www.orindaben.com/catalog/section/clearing_blockages/
Type: Audio Single Meditation By: Orin Download
To reach your full potential you will need to open to the new, take risks, and have the courage to put your work out to the world. Use this journey to allow new things, perceptions, and possibilities into your life. Move forward in your life with courage, strength, and trust in your vision and wisdom.

Let me know if this helps anyone.

Anonymous said...

Here is the link for the last post:
Developing Courage and Fearlessness SI109

freddie said...

bible bashing Christians god lovers go to hell please let the devil drag you all down to hell so we people can live in freedom and have free speech.

freddie said...

apple seeds with the apricot things sounds like the way to try but no way should anyone hope to do it with less then 7 cup full's of seeds that seems more then enough a blender seems difficult in my mind to grind the seeds into a pulp as they will be tiny and difficult to cut so I would go with the most old fashioned method get a small to medium stone style dish the kind you can grind dry seeds in and get the tool for grinding have forgot the name is easy found in any place selling cooking untensils then obviously obtain a seriously ridiculous amount of apples and apricots over say 1 year be a good boy or girl and eat at least 5 items of those 2 fruits everyday no don't forget to keep all cores and whatever for apricots and get your hands dirty until you can harvest the seed from each fruit every time now get a nice large plastic air tight box and keep storing away your seeds in 1 year you should have more than enough if not ask all people you know to harvest seeds for you from their own fruit aswell if they ask why tell them your just started new hobby gardening and your learning how to grow a seed etc etc because in the future you want to grow your own fruit that is a very beliveable story and will keep anyone off your back and get anyone suspicious of why you want their seeds so anyway if you can find the year and the patients you will after 1 year have hopefully over 200 seeds that should get the job done but don't forget no blender just old fashioned grind the old alchemists did and the when ready find a good way to ingest so you don't vomit critical you cannot vomit all must go deep to work then all should be ok and thus whoever wants to can die with this method when I have enough seeds I might want to try mixing it with something liquid to make the pulp more soluble but it will have to contain as little as anything so as not to counteract any effect of the cyanide perhaps water im not sure but I will put some thought into this and get back to you hope tis blog stays alive long live free speech

Anonymous said...

What if your family can't help you? What if you belong to a different society and what if they doesn't accept you? What if your own family doesn't understand you? What if everyone makes fun of you? It is much easier to lecture than facing a god damn problem... If its just one or a few then any idiot can face and lecture us. I life in India and this society doesn't accepts gay. I don't want to be a gay. Or i never committed or misbehaved with anyone. Cause, i never wanted to bring a bad name to my family. I cannot tell my family because i am not sure what i am.. My father left us when i was a months baby. My mom struggled a lot and thank god now she married a guy and happier than ever. Her life had so much impact so i couldn't imagine any girl in my sexual thoughts. I respect them a lot. But i was growing young and had to think of something when masturbating so i had to think myself as a girl. This made me fancy some good looking guys. Every idiot took advantage in my childhood. I was very sensitive and my face had more of my mother's resemblance so i was looking like a girl until i've become an young man. But many abused me and forced me for sex. I had some family issues and my mother was poisoned when she was carrying me.. So i've born weak. So, i didn't have strength to face my seniors in school. I never really wanted that. I was used and abused and now that has a lot of fucking impact on my life. I don't know if i can get any medication to change my mind. However cause of my financial status... i cannot afford any treatment. Think about it once. I just want a good and respectable life.. Which i can only dream of. So all of you please save your fucking lectures. I don't have any good memories. And the good memories i have makes me feel more terrible and sorrow. I cannot stop thinking of my childhood or look into future. I may have a future. But its not what i want. Some people talk about god and hell.... I no longer believe in that trash.. God and hell are man made stories to keep control over the commoners. I can't migrate to any other country. I had very big dreams but I couldn't achieve any cause of economical problems. Since i belong to the highest community(Caste) my fucking govt. didn't help with anything. I am tired and i just want something to put me away from this Hippocratic and selfish people. Politics and politician in my country makes our lives much worse than we usually suffer with our own problems. I can't change these people so my country. Is it too much to ask for good education when you are capable and talented? So, please save your useless Speeches about living a life.. You don't know anything. I don't want this fucking life. The only reason i live in this cunt world is because i am afraid of physical pain. I tried to hang myself and also drowned in a river, cut my hand and also tried to jump from a building. But nothing worked and just left me with some painful experiences and scars. If anyone know some accurate painless suicidal plans please mail me at phani.vinay2006@gmail.com. I am also trying to buy potassium Cyanide. If anyone has access to Potassium cyanide or Hydrogen Cyanide.. Please do me this big favor. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

narnia are you there? I feel your pain and you have spoken as though reading my mind. I pray you get the peace you deserve. I have been in a dark place so long I can't remember ever being happy. I was the one bullied in school from the first day to my last day. I finely quit in high school. I got my GED left town forever but as is said you can't leave your self. I never learned how to be a friend so have lived and worked alone.To those who say help others and find a a reason to live, I am a nurse. I have been a nurse for 40 years and all my patients tell me and the big wigs I am the best. I have not any real friends among my coworkers though. I have actually attempted to find everlasting nothingness and almost had success twice. Today I am resigned to knowing that I just have to wait for my time. My nightly prayers are for final rest and each morning for the strength to make one more day.
Oh yes I work with the teminally ill and one reason they love me is I allow them to talk openly about death, and never judge or belittle their feelings. Their families are happy to talk about their anger and deep sadness without being preached at. If asked to pray with them I will, if told they hate God I never talk about his plan. I do however let them know we do not, and never will know what they are going through as all feel differently.
We all have different reaction to pain as we all have different pain receptors. Our feelings of loss are different also and our religous beliefs or lack of have nothing to do with it.Someone can tell you how fat you are and you become hopelessly depressed or could go home and look in a mirror and go on a sensible nutritional diet, or become anorexic, or bulimic. Then again you cold look in the mirror and say no way am I fat.
My sister's son was kidnapped and she became a one woman fireball looking for him and finally found him by working all over the US. She personally turned over every rock and beat all bushes. The police did not find him and after 48 hours were less helpful. It took 10 years and he never forgot who he was even though he was only 3 when taken. Then there are families that leave it to the police and may or may not get their son back.
Any way all you trolls that find site like this only to further your need to bully or perhaps you are bullied and take it out on others. What ever your need to inflict pain on the defenseless know you will not stop or cause a suicide as most are so full of pain and darkness they cannot think straight. Remember the hospitals are full of failed attempts by: gun shot, hanging, poison, pills ,jumping off o bridges, buildings, and other high places. This is why people ask for what works plus lack of high enough places to jump,no guns,lack of knowledge on poison or pills.
With modern electrical wiring and appliances you cannot be sure of electrocution.This is why I am still here. Narnia please answer if still here.

Anonymous said...

Sick

Anonymous said...

Lol... Why do peoplethink someone has to be depressed to want to end it all? Perhaps we are just done and dont want to play they game anymore - evver think of that?

I'm not ready to go just yet but I am preparing for my journey in the next year or two.

All of you bullies tfyinv to put people down and tell them what "cowards" they are... Most likely, your miserable asses will end up dying alone and full of hate =)

Anonymous said...

Look every one goes thur hard times some pull thru it and some don't depends on how strong u are but its not everyones place on earth to make u happy one you can make u happy!!!!!!!!! You are the maker of your own destiny

Anonymous said...

My preferred methods of suicide:
1) High caliber gunshot to the head

If no gun is available
2) Hanging. You will be passed out after 30 seconds, brain dead in 2 minutes, and completely dead in 20

Anonymous said...

It's hell on earth!!! Let us b to do what we want!!! We don't need anyone's approval!!!!

Anonymous said...

As if some of us didn't try to talk to our family's. Nobody cares or even take us seriously.

Wendy Davis said...

I'm not sure how many people are still alive that posted here, but the one thing that all who are seriously wanting to commit suicide are blinded to is the fact that you will go to hell and burn for eternity for selfishly killing yourselves. You think you have pain here, just wait your pains and sorrows will just begin if you take your life.A thousand years would just be the beginning as well. Suicide is a permanant solution to temporary problems. Surrender your lives to God and let Him bring a peace to your life beyond compare. Then once our sorrow is ended here we can truly find that place of peace and quiet when it is God's time for us to die and not when we choose to. Laugh or mock me either way I speak the truth.

Anonymous said...

872-220-0403

Anonymous said...

Tried that sh*t out didn't work

Anonymous said...

Philipians... jehovah? Are u a witness

cain a ninth grader said...

y'all need jesus in your life

cain the stoner said...

ya'll need some of that og kush in your life

Anonymous said...

I was reading these and people kept saying 'I'll let you know how it goes'... my question is 'how?'
if it works you will not be telling anyone anything.
And wow these suicidal peeps are whiny, entitled pricks.
The world doesn't owe you anything, if the world sucks why don't you do something to change that, volunteer, start a charity. Suicide is such a pussy way out and before anyone acts like I don't get how you feel. I do, I'm a suicide survivor.

Anonymous said...

If you guys are really going to kill yourself PLEASE PLEASE PLESASE donate your organs, cause if you're gonna fuck up someones day by topping yourselves at least try to improve a couple by giving away the organs you won't be using any more.

Anonymous said...


Megpoid_Gumi

How did you people who have cyanide get it, you're willing to just give it to us? It'd be a nice big dosage, right? Anyone have suicide pills like they use for the death penalty? Or chloroform? Chloroform would be nice.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking of mashing all the apple seeds,mixing it with yogurt and just eating it really fast. Hoping the yogurt would help get rid of the bad taste. Maybe I should mix pear seeds and cherry seeds, too. If it turns out to be painful, then so be it. I just want to make sure I die and don't wake up in a hospital again.

Anonymous said...

Let's leave religion or of this.

Anonymous said...

I want to hire a hitman now and I just looked it up, and it costs $8000 on this one website. T^T I don't even have $1000....


Megpoid_Gumi

Anonymous said...

If that could actually happen, I mean. I can dream, right?

Megpoid_Gumi

Anonymous said...

:-( grap your bottle of lotion and your favorite porno mag and tell me your not happy lmao #somethingtolivefor

Anonymous said...

Sab chutiya hai

Chinmaya Patel said...

Touche'

izan073 said...

You guys know that hell is waiting you if you commit suicide?

Just sad that you guys can't see the beauty of life.

I ask you to do one thing before you go.

Ask God for a sign, and pray to him with your heart in humbleness. And ask for his mercy.

Anonymous said...

Fuck u.

Anonymous said...

That's what I'm thinking.. Something like that anyways.. But then I gotta steal a bb gun or sumthin from meijer Cuz I'm broke and pathetic.

Shelley Wild said...

People... Its a word that sounds so impersonal and disease infested. Like insects. Disgusting. God. Pshh... Sounds so glorifying don't it? Doesn't it make you guys wanna jump for joy and sing gay songs to a creeper that's invisible???... Look here you outspoken Christian. I don't wanna hear your antics or your jokes. You don't know us, were just ppl with issues. Right?. I mean, do you take time out of everyday to pray for us individually? Or do you categorize all of us under those fucked up people?. Or do you even take the time at all???.. There is no god you fool.. At least not that I can see. I see hate, betrayal, lies, murder, rape, molestation, violence, bullying, judging, and so much more. I see hate crimes and major "sin" in these temples you call church. Spoken by your people called priests. I've seen more love and understanding steam off of my shit than I have in one Church. So why don't you make like the rest of the people and get the hell out ta here

Shelley Wild said...

Like they did for me when they sat back and did nothing while I was going through what I did as a child?

Shelley Wild said...

Yes but how many more heartbreaks am I supposed to go through before I get a fairytale ending. Actually... Here's a fairytale for ya... Romeo and Juliet.. Its fucking picture perfect. Absolutely fucking priceless. I am an adult. I've forced myself to get through my teen years and young adult hood. Its a fight I'm god damned fucking sick of by now. So how bout this for an ending.. My man, my romeo.. Is absolutely amazing, the most caring, loving, romantic tough man ever. I love the hell out of him inside and out. He cherishes me like a goddess. It was so magical that It felt like beauty and the fucking beast. But the beast wasn't so fuzzy was he?.. We've made progress with his drinking and drugging... A lot of progress. But the addictions will never stop. The devilish douche bag from hell comes out every time. My two faced romeo that both heaven and hell despise. So obviously after an entire lifetime of my mother destroying me with her addictions, my families abandonment and my fathers neglect. My ex boyfriends abuse, and this generations own form of middle school/high school genocide.. And the mental/emotional trauma that I continuously struggle with... The on going homelessness for 5 years, a divorce, and now finally your typical desire of a romantic fairytale turned into a cheating lyin sack of criminal drunk shit... Yeah I'm about ready to mix all the toxic/lethal shit I can find into one "fuck it all cocktail" and bottoms up it.. Cuz I fucking quit

Shelley Wild said...

And I'll toast to the rest of you and chase it down with some apple juice

Shelley Wild said...

See that's the thing with you Christians. You just have to infect everything you touch with your preechiness... Your like the herpes growing on your Jesus' testes.. Stop trying to conform and fix ur own family. Most of you have unhappy broken homes as well, you just hide behind peter pan in never never land and pretend the ticking crock isn't trying to eat you. So why don't you try and sprinkle just a littleless fairy dust next time... And STOP ACTING LIKE YU PERFECT!!!! NEWS FLASH, JESUS DID NOT WALK ON WATER, ITS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE, HE WAS NOT SOME DEMI GOD, HE WAS A HUMAN BORN BY A WHORE, A SCANDAL FROM BACK IN THE DAY. HIS CHILD HOOD WAS SO FUCKED UP THAT HE ENDED UP BEING EXTREMELY DILLUSIONAL. AND LIKE YU CHRISTIANS, SOMEONE WANTED TI HAVE HOPE FOR HUMANITY AND BELIEVED HIM. HENCE THE BIBLE, NOW YOUR ALL SWIMMING WITH MERMAIDS WHILE PETRR PAN FIGHTS CAPTAIN HOOK FOR YOU!!!!?!.... Damn... What y'all gonna do when reality sinks in and you find it was all make believe? That you were living in imagination station?.. You're not gonna off yourself are you???... Nahhhh... You're to good for that.

Shelley Wild said...

Suicide is not a sin.. Its a sickness... Will cancer patients go to "hell"???

Anonymous said...

The BEST Method which I have come across is the PURE NICOTINE method. Where you extract Pure Nicotine from Preferably Cigarettes around 60mg and mix it with any drink and gulp it. (For extraction of pure nicotine you can search the net)

R. M. R. Sweet said...

First of all, I would like to say that I am sorry for those of you who think that suicide is your answer. The truth is that life is a precious thing and everybody is entitled to happiness. Killing yourself solves nothing and, in fact, there are many positive, wonderful, spectacular, and fantastical things to live for. If your life is not the way you want it don't terminate it, change it. Give your life meaning and help out others, because no matter who you are there is always somebody on this planet who cares about you.
With love, R. M. R. Sweet

superwholockedmlp said...

So, how about that Doctor Who? Have you seen that last episode of Supernatural? And what about that Sherlock?

Anonymous said...

Hey, you! Yes you. if you really want to kill yourself, take someone with you. But not just anyone. Make sure they're important in a bad way. Like a leader of a terrorist organization or something. I mean, you're gonna die anyway. Why not help rid the world of those kind of people? Just saying.

Anonymous said...

I have potassium cyanide for sale, Purity: 99,6%, for more info contact me: quimisuc@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Stop for a minute. I'm not going to preach (I'm agnostic/atheistic). Depression sucks. It sucks and blows. But it's also a treatable condition. I got depression during university (specifically "depression and anxiety"). It wasn't me that made the decision to get help, it was my neighbour in college. It wasn't my tutors noticing I hadn't handed in work, nor was it the people I spent time on hobbies with noticing how tired I was all the time. It was someone who noticed I had lost weight (I was already verging on underweight, which comes with its own health problems - don't think of it as being "better" or "worse" than being overweight, they're both bad for physical and mental well-being) and happened to just catch something I had said about being in bed all day (I wasn't physically "ill", just mentally). They checked up on me. They made me eat meals with them. They encouraged me to get help.

It wasn't until I went to a "study skills coordinator". We sat down, talked about my routine, they said they thought I had depression and I broke down in tears. It was a relief, in some ways, but it was also daunting. I didn't like being grouped with all those others, I'm a unique individual, aren't I? At the same time, though it meant I had a new course of action. This wasn't something for me to tackle by making spreadsheets and timetables. I needed a counsellor. Someone to talk to. A weekly commitment that would allow me to keep track of what day it was, and have something to look towards, giving my day-to-day some kind of direction. After counselling started, I saw a doctor. The doctor couldn't see anything wrong at first. Exam term came, I went to the doctor again. I had developed a physical and verbal tick, I was wringing my hands so firmly they rashed, and the sweat would then make the rashes sting. I couldn't' sit exams, that much was apparent. My first exam was scheduled to be the next day. Within five hours my doctor had drafted a letter and I had given it to college. It was done. I wasn't sitting exams.

That was two years ago. This summer I sit the exams I was so terrified of. Of course I'm scared. This is a big deal for me. My head swims with what-ifs and soured memories. But it's feasible. In another year, I'll have a degree, hopefully.

You may not have someone to notice this. Rather, you may not feel like someone will notice. Well, I'm noticing. If you are seriously considering this as a method of suicide, or indeed any method, then you likely have a form of depression. Maybe you cry a lot. Maybe you don't cry at all. Maybe you can't cry, even though you want to. Maybe all sense of emotion has been evacuated, leaving an empty void. Maybe you think things would be better if you didn't exist anymore. Thing is, that's limiting what else you can try.

I'm not a doctor, or a preacher. I'm just someone noticing that some of you need help. I can't help you beyond noticing, other than saying that I notice. And there are things you can do to get the ball rolling. Write down your feelings and your routine, so that when you do go to see someone, you don't forget anything. Go to a hospital and say you're feeling suicidal. Go to your doctor. If you're at college, school or university, they will have access to counselling. If not, a doctor can refer you to one.

That's my story so far. I hope you can continue yours.

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